I’m actually battling some kind of sickness right now–sore, swollen throat and endless fatigue complete with spaghetti limbs and pinky cloud brains. Should my train of thought wander, I apologize in advance.
Funny thing about kind honesty with no ulterior motives–it actually has returns.
One halloween about two years ago I was at a party with friends and the guy I was talking to at the time. While at the party, I spotted the most beautifully ethereal guy I’d ever seen–alabaster skin, ice-blue eyes, them cheekbones with the perfect blush, and the most beautiful curly light blonde hair I’d ever seen.
Naturally, I immediately made my way over to him to ‘try on his hair’ and let him know that he was a beautiful angel on earth. He thanked me and patiently endured me trying on his hair in kind. My romantic interest at the time agreed with me and we would talk about his beauty at length when he was around.
As we encountered one another thereafter we became acquainted. And each time we encountered one another, I made sure to reiterate my initial aesthetic worship, almost as a running joke between us. Having curly hair myself, we often discussed caring for it, etc.
This past Friday, I attended a musical show at a friend’s house where I, once again, encountered this ‘earth angel’. He made eye contact with me, called me over to him to say hello, and we immediately entered into our usual banter. The difference was that this time instead of parting ways thereafter we continued to talk and somehow ended up dancing for the remainder of the night.
I’m not talking about the ‘cool’ grinding and/or fancy footwork you might expect, I’m talking ballroom dancing complete with spins and dips in the middle of a dark backyard surrounded by socializing people.
We’ve danced every day since. For some reason, this creature’s chosen me to attend to and I am still endlessly perplexed.
So, in light of my most recent resolution on love, honesty, and instinct I have this to say:
Honesty in the right context got me here. Instinct is allowing me to go with this and take everything as it comes rather than attempting to speed it up/slow it down. Love–it’s too early to really say anything for sure, but I’d say that I’m still ‘ride or die’ for love just by fulfilling honesty and attending to my instinct.
I have no idea where this will go, and, likely, he doesn’t either. And that’s just fine with me.
Ride. Or. Die.