A relationship is such an odd experience for me. When you’re an independent person who thinks and functions only for herself it’s somewhat of a shock to suddenly have this other little light in your bubble.
The thing about this little light is it’s fragile–especially at first. Now you’ve got to attend to this little light, nurture it, be conscious of the fact that your actions affect it and can snuff it out. Though this phenomenon suddenly grants you power you never had over another person until now, it’s also rather disarming. No longer can you simply function and continue without a thought. Now there’s consideration, receptiveness that come into play.
This may all seem like such a hassle from the outside, especially to those that are content alone, and it can be. But, at the same time, it creates this odd sense of insecurity. Yes, this fragile little light takes work but you want to work on it. You want it to stick around and thrive. Suddenly you have this beautiful something in your possession and you’re terrified something will happen to it–tearing it away from you for all time.
There’s something special and different about the light that’s recently invaded my bubble. It’s got real character, it probes, it provides feedback, it engages. It’s so beautiful that I could stare at it for hours and still be unable to fathom that very beauty. It’s lit from within and I am willing to spend eternity finding the source of that warmth, that brightness.
Love is insanity and I’m teetering on the cusp–here comes the plunge.