“I think I am trying to make my head as empty as it was when I was born onto this damaged planet … years ago.” – Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
Fog is an interesting thing. It envelopes large areas, limits sight lines, encases those within it to only what they can sense around them. I’ve always liked the fog for the mystery it creates–anything can come out of it and one can almost get lost in it when thick enough. But sometimes the fog sticks around too long. About a year ago, during my journey into a profession that was far from right for me, the thick fog arrived and stuck around for almost a week. At first I welcomed it, allowing myself to get lost for small amounts of time. But, within a couple days it began to weigh on me until I felt I was slowly suffocating. The fog has now returned to me, but this time in my head and heart. Each minuscule droplet of water comprised of a thought, a consideration, a fruitless hope, a realization, a deep and heavy emotion. It’s all built up to become a heavy blanket limiting sight, breath, and presence and I just can’t take it anymore. I’m here to dole these droplets out into the universe (e-verse?) in the hope that I can give myself a little breathing room to move again.
Please don’t be confused, this blog is completely selfish in its creation; but if anyone at all can read it and find a smile, a chuckle, or just feel a little less alone in their thoughts, then all the better for all of us. Being human is fucking lonely; and, damn it, I’d like some relief.